The institution of marriage is surrounded by a number of myths, stories and advice freely offered by people on a daily basis. Unfortunately, many people listen to and believe these pieces of so-called wisdom to the point where it doesn’t help their marriage and it only hinders its growth. Many of the myths regarding relationships are incredibly damaging and it is unfortunate that they are such common beliefs. Once you understand why certain bits of advice or information can be regarded as myths, you can break through what could be blocking the growth of your marriage. In fact, you may actually learn to appreciate your spouse and your role in your marriage even more.
Sensationalist television, magazines and talk radio have been key players when it comes to fuelling any belief that there is a battle between the sexes happening. While there are definitively some physical and psychological differences, they are not enough to earn the term ‘battle’ as a description. When you allow yourself to consider any kind of battle between the sexes, you risk grouping all men or all women into a certain category and that leads to stereotyping. Once you recognise that your partner is a unique individual with a number of positive attributes, you can shed the thought that there should be any type of conflict between the two of you. Any thought of battle or conflict only leads to lack of communication, misunderstandings and discourages growth in any relationship.
“Nice guys finish last” is one of the worst possible sayings floating around today. Whoever thought of that and actually uttered those words must have been feeling truly low and full of self-pity because there simply cannot be any other explanation. Nice guys never finish last. They may have a longer and harder road sometimes, but it isn’t often that you see the bullies and jerks finishing first. If they aren’t, who is? It’s the nice guys, but they are so nice and gracious you don’t hear them bragging about it. It is also important to note that the word ‘nice’ doesn’t mean ‘weak’ or ‘ effeminate’ in any way. Nice means socially or conventionally correct; refined or virtuous and not at all negative in any way. Nice is not another word for push over or spineless. Nice is as close to a ‘perfect’ man as you can come and they always end up first in line.
‘Romance is all you need in order to save your relationship’ is a wonderfully optimistic thought, but not quite accurate. If simple romance were enough to save a marriage, it would be running wonderfully rampant throughout the world today. Unfortunately, it takes more than simple romance. If you truly feel love for your spouse and you are expressing it through romance, then it will save your marriage. If you are trying to use romance to buy some time or to placate your spouse, then you are only buying time or placating your spouse. Your time as a married couple is most likely limited and should be attended to immediately by a professional.
Having been with my husband for 15 years, and our marriage getting stronger and deeper everyday, I can say that having a good marriage is about telling each other you love them multiple times a day. It helps to thinking positively about your marriage, and know that you are succeeding in lie because you have such a strong base at home. My marriage is both a deep friendship, and a great sexual relationship. This is a great base for us to be the perfect team for life, and I expect nothing less. Work on your mindset in your marriage, just like in everything else in life, and you will succeed.