I am in a groove – and bitterness and frustration and dissatisfaction groove!
I have written a whole book on my frustration – but it’s still a daily occurrence for me!
Hand-in-hand is my resentment or bitterness for a number of things in my life, or things in society generally, which I really can’t do anything about – my class and that I seem to have blocks in my success because of this; and the legal industry privilege club and that I seem to be on the outer despite all my qualifications and awards.
There are couple of things that I have been learning. I’ve been reading You are the Placebo, and realised that my conscious knowledge of these feelings and trying to think otherwise is to enough. My body is addicted to stress and bitterness and frustration. My body now feels these things before I even think anything!
I need to do something more about it, and this comes from both that book and also from a course that I’ve been doing recently – with the Intuitive Intelligence Institute.
So, as well as realising that I need to do more than just think positively, I am actually going to commit to a meditation practice. I have not meditated regularly, except to put myself to sleep – and I’ve realised that my ego has a lot to lose if I do meditate and get myself under control.
I’ve realised that I haven’t been meditating because I’m afraid of the change. But now, I’m at the point where I want the change more than I am afraid. So it must happen!
Daily meditation in the mornings for half an hour :).