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exploring authenticity for professional women who want success, equality and fulfilment

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Jacqui’s Diary

Posts and videos of my personal journey

    Akro Brauman
    FamilyJacqui's Diary

    Grief has a Face

    by admin April 2, 2019

    For me, over the last two weeks, grief has had a face. The face of my beloved fur baby.

    Despite how deeply and unconditionally I love this pooch, I made the decision to euthanise him.

    Blue heelers can be a difficult breed. He was very smart and very loyal, but also very protective. Also, in the last couple of years, he had become increasingly anxious.

    I don’t know what was going on in his head that made him feel unsafe. 

    His anxiety, combined with his protective nature, began to turn into aggression. 

    He behaved badly a few times, particularly with our male friends. Despite us having let them into our house, our dog would suddenly decide, without warning, that he had an issue. He wouldn’t growl or bark. I would just suddenly launch to grab at their hands. He wouldn’t latch on, or bite hard, or break skin, but he was making a pest of himself. 

    We took have to a behavioural vet, and commenced retraining him. We crate trained him, and we muzzle trained him. We implemented other behavioural technicals, and he started on medication. Overall, his behaviour was much more manageable. 

    But then he did lunged at my husband one evening. That was nearly the limit.

    Another morning he barricaded himself under our bed and wouldn’t come out. He tried to bite me.

    It’s so distressing to think that he was that anxious that he would have a problem with my husband and I. He was scared of being outside or felt under pressure, but we couldn’t understand. 

    But two weeks ago, whilst he was walking on the lead, he suddenly launched at a jogger and bit her on the arm. Luckily she was wearing a watch. The watch band was destroyed. 

    He was too much of a risk anymore.

    I couldn’t confine him to the backyard, because that wasn’t fair on him. We were already prevented from inviting people around to our house because of him. 

    Tragically, the only choice was to put him down, before he hurt someone seriously and it was forced on us. 

    The last thing I wanted was for him to be declared ‘dangerous’, and for the ranger to remove him forcibly from us and put him down without us being in control. I didn’t want to be fined, or have someone sue us for damages.

    So I took him to the vet. 

    I’m so bereft.

    There’s such a hole in my life.

    And I’m so sorry that I couldn’t give him what he needed to feel safe and happy. 

    Grief has a face and a name – Akro.

    RIP 30/03/2019

    Grief Akro

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  • HappinessHealthJacqui's Diary

    My Meditation Journey

    by admin February 4, 2019

    I started using some guided meditations a few years ago. There is a podcast that I have used, and there’s also a lot of guided mediations on YouTube. I have also…

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  • HappinessJacqui's Diary

    2018 Personal Wrap Up

    by admin December 23, 2018

    This year was very difficult for me, and a lot of others have said the same. But it was also very rewarding, because through the difficulties, I believe that I have…

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  • BusinessJacqui's Diary

    Inspired

    by admin November 5, 2018

    I have spoken before about my ups and downs in business, and a lot about my personal development and trying to manage my mindset. Well, I just did an ultimate week…

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  • Jacqui's Diary

    Moving Forward

    by admin July 1, 2018

    Things get clearer over time, the more you journal and think about what you actually want. But I seem to go around in circles sometimes, and I’ve come back again to…

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  • Jacqui's Diary

    Re-Reading the Alchemist

    by admin June 3, 2018

    I first read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho some years ago: http://myjournalofbecomingawriter.blogspot.com/2011/09/alchemist.html  It was like a lovely fable, and I vowed then to read it every year. But I haven’t. I…

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  • Jacqui's Diary

    International Women’s Day Interview

    by admin May 12, 2018

    I was interviewed for an event run by The Rural Woman for International Women’s Day 2018. Here’s the recording:

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  • Jacqui's Diary

    2017 Wrap Up

    by admin January 14, 2018

    2017 has been a huge year of personal development for me. For anyone who watched any of my vlogs in 2016, you will notice that my focus changed from business (and…

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  • BusinessJacqui's Diary

    A Day In the Life of Me

    by admin June 12, 2017

    Business owner, lawyer, operations manager, financial officer, bookkeeper, payroll officer, entrepreneur, website developer, employer, social media marketer, runner, dog owner, wife, writer, sales and marketer … the many hats that I…

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  • Jacqui's Diary

    Why I Started This Blog

    by admin May 14, 2017

    I started this blog when I was feeling very dissatisfied with my career, my business, and the prospects for my future. This is all relative, because I am actually very lucky…

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  • Jacqui's Diary

    I Wouldn’t Be Where I Am Today Without …

    by admin February 18, 2017

    Trying to start a blog with this topic is tricky, but it’s a great refection exercise for anyone to do, and really an exercise in gratitude. There are lots of things…

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  • Jacqui's Diary

    2017 Weekly High Performance Planner

    by admin January 2, 2017

    For about 12 weeks in 2016, I consistently used a high performance planner that I designed, to ensure that I consistently hit the daily tasks that I needed to do to keep…

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  • Jacqui's Diary

    Consistency

    by admin September 27, 2016

    In this video, I talk briefly about how my habit of staying consistent, of sticking to my planner, and doing something small every day, is serving me quite well. I’ve made…

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