One thing common to all great communicators is that when they speak, everybody listens. However, communicating assertively to people is one of the greatest fears for most women, and especially when it comes to public speaking. Most people dread public speaking more than death! Yet communication is so important if we are going to gain gender equality, so the more confidently women can communicate, the better.
Do you ever wonder why you don’t seem to get listened to by others even though you too have many ideas to share? Then read on, this article is just for you.
Confident communication however, is more than what you speak. It takes into account your body language as well.
What’s inside the mind of a successful communicator?
Confident communicators aren’t a know all
Of course, you need to have good knowledge about the subject you are talking about, but what actually matters is not what you say, but how you say it. Successful people don’t do different things, they do things differently. The first step is to believe in what you say. You must be fully convinced in the idea and only then will there be conviction in the tone of your voice. Your voice now is equipped with the power to hold people’s attention. Once you have conviction in your voice, and what you speak is useful for the other people and it actually helps them or gives some credible information, you get appreciation. This certainly peps up your self-confidence!
Confident communicators don’t let people make them nervous
Most women suffer from fearing catastrophes or embarrassments that never happen. Most women tend to make a very high imaginary impression of other people in their minds.
So much so that their mind starts believing that other people are perfect. This creates an unfair comparison between their own personality and the imaginary personality of other people that they create. This thinking breeds a fear of meeting and talking to other people. It lowers their confidence and they fear what it will be to meet and talk to these “perfect” people. However, in real life nobody is perfect and you must realise this. Everybody has their own set of faults and weaknesses. It’s important for you to realise that every human being is essentially imperfect. This will give you greater confidence to go out and face people.
Take it or leave it. You snooze, you lose
Ideally you must be in the best of your moods and carry a pleasant demeanour when you go out and meet people. However, it might not always be possible and it may so happen that you are not fully prepared to communicate, or you are a little tense over some other matter. A confident communicator, though, develops an ability to keep control of his emotions. This quality helps the communicator to keep control of the situation. You may still not be in a good mood, but you must make sure that you keep indecisiveness at bay. Your indecision will fritter away your focus and energy and you fail to make any impact. If you decide to communicate. Be yourself, have faith in yourself and go ahead.
Mind your body language
Your gesture, postures and eye contact probably talk louder than your words. Body language cuts across all barriers of communication such as language, time, place, knowledge and so on. Your body language starts getting interpreted unconsciously by everyone around. People start forming impressions about you the moment you make an eye contact and body language certainly contributes a considerably large part of the impression you make.
A few facts you must know
- You may have a sad expression on your face because of some other matter, but the person you are talking to may feel that you don’t approve what he or she says, leading to misunderstanding. Be present in the current conversation you are having, and be aware of your feelings at all times, as to how they may effect your ability to communicate.
- A steady gaze may convey intensity, anger, aggression or strong interest. Little eye contact may imply lack of confidence or shyness. Practice making appropriate eye contact when you are speaking with others, so that this behaviour becomes natural and you will appear more confident.
- Open hands may convey honesty and openness; however, making a lot of hand gestures might mean that you are being nervous. It’s also best to practice what to do with your hands when you are speaking. Maybe clasping them in front of you or behind you will work, depending on the situation, or try to have paper and a pen with you so you can use them to make gestures.
Confident communication, including words and gestures, is something that you do not perfect in a day. You must grab every opportunity to improve your assertive communication. Try to check your communication skills, your strong points and the mistakes you make along with the overall affect on the other person. Try to learn from your experiences and there is no reason why you can’t make it. Get going. Good luck!