A major sabotage of mine is that I am always wanting the world’s approval for everything I do. This sabotage shows up in a lot of ways, as I am constantly looking outside of myself for validation and for a reflection of my worthiness. I seek approval, appreciation, acknowledgement and guidance from my professional colleagues, from employers in the past, from friends, from clients, from parents, and even from my industry at large and people I don’t even know personally.
This sabotage causes me to often sell myself short, to not trust my intuition, to not maximise my natural abilities, and to not chase my goals that others don’t approve of!
I often do things that I don’t want to do, because I think that others want me to do those things. This includes decisions about my career all the way through to decisions about my clothes and appearance.
I also feel I have to justify my existence, my earnings, my actions … everything! I have to prove I’m worthy through hard work. I have to be generous and tempered and unselfish. All for the approval of others, and because I don’t want them to think that I don’t deserve what I have.
I am now aware of this sabotage, and how entrenched it is, and how it affects so many aspects of my life. I am coming to terms with the reality that my desires and goals are important, and that I am unique and worthy. I need to constantly remind myself of this reality, since my self-talk will try to prove otherwise and have me full of doubt and fear.
I can’t live a great life in doubt and fear, so I have chosen to live a joyful life and chase after my challenging goals. I hope you can make this choice too.