Continuing to work on clearing my blocks for a better life, I am learning more about the shadow archetypes, and where they are showing up in my life.
The child is showing up for me in my life, because I don’t believe that I deserve anything, unless I’m a ‘good girl’. So I’m not deserving unconditionally – it is based on my behaviour. If I’m bad, I should be punished, or go without.
Hence, to be a ‘good girl’, I am complying with social norms and doing what I think I ‘should’ do, and expecting to be rewarded. (But the rewards are few and far between).
The victim fears being alone, and that the world is not safe. The world or someone is out to get me, and I must not get targeted. My victim is scared of standing out, or being apart form the norm, and therefore vulnerable.
So keeping myself small is a way of staying safe.
This is all about trading your power. What will it take for me to give up what is important to me? Unfortunately, I give up my own time, and time with my family, far too easily. I allow my business to encroach on everything else, and put it and clients first, for the promise of getting ahead and making revenue. But it hasn’t really been worth the sacrifice.
The saboteur shows up for me when I repeatedly say ‘I can’t’. I’m very quick to jump to saying this, and even quicker to think it. The saboteur also wants to keep us safe in our comfort zone – the saboteur is scared of change.
The result of getting to know these archetypes better is that I’m more aware of how they’re playing out in my life. I can pause and call myself out when they are showing up in my present, and in my decision making. I will be less likely to be controlled by them on a daily basis.
This will take a significant amount of work to increasingly become aware in day-to-day exchanges and real-time situations, rather than in retrospect. So a regular reminder of these aspects of self will help keep the concept at the forefront of my mind, so that I can readily challenge them.