I started this blog when I was feeling very dissatisfied with my career, my business, and the prospects for my future. This is all relative, because I am actually very lucky to be high educated and in control of my own business. But it is funny how you can mentally beat yourself up and compare yourself to other people, and not be happy with what you have.
In March 2015, my husband and I decided that we needed something to look forward to. So we committed to travel around the coast of Australia on a 50 foot flybridge cruiser in 2020. We are now half-way through that time period, and we still have this goal.
I was feeling dissatisfied when I started this blog, because we were 9 months into making that commitment to the 2020 travel, without looking any closer to it. I was hustling and hustling, trying to grow my business, and not feeling like I was getting anywhere. I was having staff issues, people not paying, and I was working a lot of hours. I felt like I was in a hole that I was trying to dig myself out of, but of course you cannot dig upwards, so I was just getting further and further into my hole.
The first few months of this blog lacked direction, but at least I had started. I wanted a creative outlet, since my business is a legal business and not an environment for much creativity. I also wanted to explore some of what I enjoyed through blogging (fitness, finances, marriage, career and business growth). So it began. I had the url “haveitall.net.au” and just used it rather than buying another domain.
After blogging for a while, I started to consider what “having it all” actually means. I was striving and striving, comparing myself to others, and all it lead to was dissatisfaction with myself. When I decided that I could define what “having it all” actually meant to me, I began to see that I didn’t have to live a life caring so much about what other people thought of me.
“Having it all” for me doesn’t include children (there I have announced it; I am a woman making the decision not to have children). But for me, “having it all” does mean having a great relationship with my husband, living in a beautiful place, and having control of my calendar and income. I’m also not that materialistic, so I’m not competing for stuff or trying to make my home look like it should be in a designer’s magazine. I have simple taste, and prefer functionality.
After starting this blog, I also explored other aspects of my life that was making me feel so dissatisfied, and I looked closer at my mindset. I have become far more protective of myself and what I expose myself to, in terms of negative messages, because all the negativity around me was causing me to spiral down into dissatisfaction. Other than what I was exposing myself to, I also looked at some injustices in my life and thoughts about the inequalities that women live with on a daily basis. I decided that this would also be a cause that I would devote myself to.
Hence, my book The Cult of Dissatisfaction was born out of starting this blog, and it is only just the beginning. I hope to have a podcast, and more books, and a community of women who are like-minded to support each other with their careers and home lives. Or whatever “having it all” means to them.